A dance between north and south and east and west
The square or rectangle has its own north, south, east and west. Every time I find myself facing yet another blank canvas, board or piece of paper it is a new experience for me. There are also certain similarities even the very first paintings and drawings I ever did seem to repeat themselves over and over in different guises. Today as I painted layers of semi-transparent pigment and varnish certain things that I had forgotten came back to me like how I like to go between the conscious part of my brain and the unconscious, juxtaposing serendipity with decision making, and attempting to get the best of both worlds. It feels like a kind of a dance between all the different aspects of what we call human beings; the right and left side of the brain, the conscious and the unconscious mind, the soul, the experiences we have been through, the now and also a search for something new or undiscovered.
That which is new or undiscovered can seem ugly or uncomfortable at first. So sometimes we retreat from that, covering it over with something more recognisable and safe. This can be a huge temptation, doing what we know we are fairly good at and stirring away from the dark unknown. This dark unknown can look frighteningly raw and naive, and lacking some of the sophistication and finesse that we might hope are work would have. The funny thing is that after I have struggled and danced all over the page with leaps of faith and playfulness as well as concentration and sensitivity at times, our wonderful 4 year old daughter said to me, while looking at my painting “I could do that couldn’t I ?” I replied, “yes of course you could”. Picasso said something like, “ children spend their childhoods trying to learn how to paint like adults and adults spend their lives trying to paint like children”.
One of the things that I have been doing lately is going back to pieces and reworking them, committing to them, as my Husband and Muse suggested. I think there maybe something in this! I do have a particular fondness of the sprint method of art making! but who knows I may become a long distance walker too!